getting me love-drunk
I used to like the Black Eyed Peas. Back in the pre-Fergie era, when Macy Gray used to do all the female parts and they were sort of chill and Jurassic 5-ish and hung out with the Roots. I liked them and put "Request Line" on a great many mix CDs, but it wasn't like I was a huge fan. Which is why my current deep and intense hatred for them is so unreasonable. Yeah, they sold out big time, but selling out doesn't even piss me off so much usually. Yet everytime I hear "Shut Up" or "Let's Get Retarded" or "Hey Mama" or god forbid, "Don't Phunk With My Heart", I curl my fingers into fists and grimace and shake my head many, many times.
I think it's mostly Fergie. Besides being America's Next Top Butterface and the poster child for incontinence, I'm pretty sure she used to be a man.
Like Simon Cowell, I'm not being rude. There's nothing wrong with being transgendered. In fact, I'd probably like her more if she was openly living her life as a transsexual individual (or at least my militant liberalism would force me to defend her...then again, I sure did hate a lot of trans kids while at Smith, so maybe not...stupid is stupid, regardless of gender identity). All I'm saying is that I think her junk was, perhaps, not originally located in her trunk. Really, it would be better for Fergie if she used to be a man. Otherwise, she's just a really unattractive woman.
All that being said, I continue to be deeply, deeply in love with "My Humps." So in love that if it's playing in a terrible bar or store, I'll wait for it to end to leave. So in love that, were you walking in Brooklyn Heights earlier this afternoon, you may have spotted me dancing down the street because it was stuck in my head. So in love that if I didn't spend most of my time with a six year-old, I would download it as a ringtone. As the ever-insightful Anthony has pointed out, if it was by Fannypack, all the cool kids would be all over it. Even though it's by what may be my least-favorite group of the moment, every time it comes on my Pandora station, I get my dance on.
I think it's mostly Fergie. Besides being America's Next Top Butterface and the poster child for incontinence, I'm pretty sure she used to be a man.
Like Simon Cowell, I'm not being rude. There's nothing wrong with being transgendered. In fact, I'd probably like her more if she was openly living her life as a transsexual individual (or at least my militant liberalism would force me to defend her...then again, I sure did hate a lot of trans kids while at Smith, so maybe not...stupid is stupid, regardless of gender identity). All I'm saying is that I think her junk was, perhaps, not originally located in her trunk. Really, it would be better for Fergie if she used to be a man. Otherwise, she's just a really unattractive woman.
All that being said, I continue to be deeply, deeply in love with "My Humps." So in love that if it's playing in a terrible bar or store, I'll wait for it to end to leave. So in love that, were you walking in Brooklyn Heights earlier this afternoon, you may have spotted me dancing down the street because it was stuck in my head. So in love that if I didn't spend most of my time with a six year-old, I would download it as a ringtone. As the ever-insightful Anthony has pointed out, if it was by Fannypack, all the cool kids would be all over it. Even though it's by what may be my least-favorite group of the moment, every time it comes on my Pandora station, I get my dance on.
posted by Leila at 4:35 PM
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