i am not an eighth-floor walkup
These new Halstead ads are killing me. Real estate ads kind of kill me in general, since all they do is remind me that I will never be able to afford a $3 million townhouse in Greenwich Village or anything like that, so, no, Corcoran, I will not be needing your services, God.
Anyways, these Halstead ads are driving me crazy in a whole new way. All of them feature pleasant, non-threatening looking adults smiling into the camera. A small box to the right of their head proclaims what they are not (i.e. "I am not square footage."). Fair enough. But. At the bottom, the copy goes to kind of a Ron Burgundy place. These potential buyers list their accomplishments. "I've doubled my firms revenue every year." "I debuted at Carnegie Hall." "I've won major awards." Or, my personal favorite, "I'm a legal expert. I hold two degrees. I run my company." I genuinely keep expecting to see "I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of fine mahogany."
Aside from my basic New Englander mentality (which strongly believes that it's rude to show off), this whole thing seems oddly...defensive. If you need to go out and say how successful you are, you're probably not that well-off. I may not be either old or new money, but I can still scoff at the nouveau riche.
I'm moving to Brooklyn on June 1, but prior to finding my amazing new apartment, I kept envisioning what my own Halstead ad might look like, given my $700 per month maximum. "I am not a couch in the living room of a Chinatown crack house." "I am in the midst of a bout of post-college ennui. My job duties frequently involve the cleaning up of poo. I have, several times, rejected the idea of buying a bed frame due to financial concerns. Don't charge me an exorbiant broker's fee, only to have the apartment not ready for my move-in date. Just find me a goddamn place to live."
Anyways, these Halstead ads are driving me crazy in a whole new way. All of them feature pleasant, non-threatening looking adults smiling into the camera. A small box to the right of their head proclaims what they are not (i.e. "I am not square footage."). Fair enough. But. At the bottom, the copy goes to kind of a Ron Burgundy place. These potential buyers list their accomplishments. "I've doubled my firms revenue every year." "I debuted at Carnegie Hall." "I've won major awards." Or, my personal favorite, "I'm a legal expert. I hold two degrees. I run my company." I genuinely keep expecting to see "I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of fine mahogany."
Aside from my basic New Englander mentality (which strongly believes that it's rude to show off), this whole thing seems oddly...defensive. If you need to go out and say how successful you are, you're probably not that well-off. I may not be either old or new money, but I can still scoff at the nouveau riche.
I'm moving to Brooklyn on June 1, but prior to finding my amazing new apartment, I kept envisioning what my own Halstead ad might look like, given my $700 per month maximum. "I am not a couch in the living room of a Chinatown crack house." "I am in the midst of a bout of post-college ennui. My job duties frequently involve the cleaning up of poo. I have, several times, rejected the idea of buying a bed frame due to financial concerns. Don't charge me an exorbiant broker's fee, only to have the apartment not ready for my move-in date. Just find me a goddamn place to live."
posted by Leila at 4:43 PM
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